Cheeseburgers, cigars, whiskey and a sedentary lifestyle for all!  Or at least of course for the banksters.  Today’s announcement by the FOMC: No changes to anything, not even ZIRP 4evvaaah.
 
In addition to “no changes necessary” statement by the Fed today, we learned that that 
Fed also green lighted 15 of the 19 major banks to continue their freewheeling ways; there’s no need for them to hop on the financial treadmill or go on a strict diet of realistic valuations.
 
Why would you choose a heart-healthy lifestyle if your “stress test” was rigged.  What the banks want, the banks get.  It’s just a matter of time.  The situation is similar to the “star athlete” at a major University with learning disabilities: he’s as dumb as a box of 
rocks, passes his own “stress tests” (history) but somehow can’t read a Dr. Seuss book.  Yes folks, his exams are rigged because of his athletic ability. 
 
Before the “shocking” news that JPM and other banks passed Tax-Chetin-Timmy’s stress tests, there certainly was some suspicion in the market as to why the market was rallying long before the FOMC announcement.  
 
The market gapped higher and slowly rallied all morning on no real news.  It’s not like the FOMC announcement held any more mystery or suspense than a Communist election.  The cautious hopium from the inflated jobs numbers plus the slightly better than expected retail sales data were already factored into the market.  
 
The market then EXPLODED late in the day when JP Morgan announced a $15 billion stock buyback and a 5 cent dividend increase because it seemingly had passed the stress test. Of course the official results weren’t supposed to be released until Thursday. But somehow JP Morgan had gotten the test results early from Dr. Fed.  
 
The suspicion was over.  At that point we know WHO was buying.  After all, the folks on the JPM trading desk knew what was coming and bought all day long.  If Doctor Fed was a psychiatrist, the lunatics were officially running the asylum.
 
Question: Will the 5 cent dividend increase come with a mandatory “thank you” to MF Global customers?  After all, JPM was the banker for MF Global and its so-called segregated funds before $1.5 billion “vaporized.”  The $1.5 billion “vaporized” inside JPM and then JP Morgan finds “extra” dividend money?  Nothing wrong there, oh no…just sayin’.
 
Why would anyone be surprised that JP Morgan or any of the other 14 banks passed the test?  After all, it is a bank being tested by the Fed. The same Fed whose inherent interest has been to not only defend, but prop up the banksters.  What’s more, even if the worst case economic scenario occurred and the failure banks couldn’t cover their capital ratios, the Fed would play Dr. Miracle worker and pull a cure out of thin air. At the very least they would get their trusty nurse Congress to pass a law to bail out the banksters…again.
 
Speaking of bankers and bailouts, one of the biggest recipients of the taxpayer cash was Shitigroup and it couldn’t even pass a rigged test.  Wow.  Shitigroup must be having a 3 rd  helping of cheeseburgers, cigars and whiskey.  

Trade well and follow the trend, not the so-called “experts.”

Behold the age of infinite moral hazard! On April 2nd, 2009 CONgress forced FASB to suspend rule 157 in favor of deceitful accounting for the TBTF banksters.